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A Year In Review (Worst of 2015)

Image: HBO

10. True Detective (Season
2)

I was a huge fan of the
extremely powerful and eerie
first
season of this show. Cary Fukunaga (the director of Season 1) moved on
to direct
one of my favorite
films of 2015, Beasts of No Nation, while Justin Lin
(Fast and
Furious) took the reigns of the first
couple episodes of Season 2. The
star power is present on screen with names
like Colin Farrell, Taylor
Kitsch,
Vince Vaughn and Rachel McAdams…but, the writing was lacking from
the shows
creator Nic
Pizzolatto. The story was unfocused and uninteresting, the
characters were
boring to watch and the dialogue
was beyond forced. Everything
that was set up by the near perfect first
season was torn down ferociously by

this cliche filled second season. This season was an absolute
disappointment. If
and when Season 3
premiers, I’m hoping the creative team learns from their
mistakes and
delivers something inventive, gripping
and original in the vein of
season one.

Image: Warner

Bros.

9. Lost
River

Written &
Directed by
Ryan Gosling (one of my favorites), this is one tough
film.

Every single part of me wanted to
love this
film; but, it was lacking in almost
every aspect. The screenplay
(written by Gosling) has an absolutely
fascinating fairy tale-esque

narrative lying within the poorly written dialogue and lack of fleshed out

characters. Each actor played
their parts as though this wasn’t a film, but, an
off-broadway play. The
score, however, is nearly flawless
and the cinematography
is quite gorgeous.

And, lets face

it…this movie was weird for the sake of being weird. Don’t get me wrong, I
like
weird. But, it needs to
justifiably weird in order for it to be
marketable.

All in all,
the most
frustrating part about this film is that it could’ve been a great
movie…it just
wasn’t. But, my
faith remains strong in Gosling and everything that he
does; because,
let’s be honest…he doesn’t let
us down
often.


Image: Universal
Pictures

8.
Fifty Shades of Grey

Words
cannot even
begin to describe the train wreck this film is.

From the
dialogue, to the acting, to the
writing…it’s just plain bad. While the film
performed extremely well at the
box
office, it will surely reflect poorly on the talent involved throughout
their
careers.

The worst part about this
is
that it comes down to one specific
factor: sex sells. There hasn’t been a
film like this one that has drawn
viewers just to see the sex between
the two
leads on the silver screen. If you want to see Fifty Shades of Grey,
just tune
your TV to Cinemax
after 10pm and you’ll see exactly what you initially
paid/were going to pay
for.

I
could write further about this film; but,
you’ve probably already seen it out
of
sheer curiosity…so, you get it.

Image: 
Warner Bros.
Image: Warner
Bros.

7. Get Hard

Just looking at this

screenshot has already frustrated
me. Between this and The Ridiculous 6
(which we will touch on later),
2015 has reared its ugly head
when it
comes to comedies.

The
thing is,
Will Ferrell is
funny; but, there’s no excuse for making films that treat your
audience like
monkeys at a zoo. This film
wears its heart on its sleeve with a
plot that is poorly structured and down
right dumb from the get go. I
wouldn’t
even recommend this film to an enemy of mine.

I
hereby deem this film
unwatchable.

Image: Walt
Disney
Pictures

6.
Tomorrowland

Oh,
Tomorrowland…we
meet again.

There is so
much magic that surrounds this film.
It is a “love
letter” to Disney and Disney fanatics. Too bad it’s dull,
boring, overlong and
has a major
identity crisis.

I
honestly
couldn’t even describe a single
scene from this film to a friend,
family member or even a rep for the film
itself. It was completely
forgettable
and I’ve had zero interest to revisit ‘Tomorrowland
since I left the

cinema.

Clooney played Clooney,
the
up and comer Britt
Robertson was borderline unwatchable and Hugh Laurie was
villain who just
sort’ve existed within the universe
to keep the story
moving.

While
I appreciate the
originality
that lies on the surface of Tomorrowland, I still think there was
much more
to be desired. It seems as though
the team of writers behind the story
and screenplay were not on the same
page AT ALL and they all
wanted to
make a completely different film.

Tomorrowland is
and will always be a true disappointment to me. Maybe
putting Brad Bird back
on animated films might not be a
terrible idea.

Image: Netflix

5. The Ridiculous
6

Adam Sandler is right
where he

belongs…Netflix.

It’s
like
going to a store full of
Jelly Beans, and you LOVE jelly beans; but, the
Jelly Bean store is
required to carry a single hard
boiled egg…and you
HATE eggs.

That perfectly

describes The Ridiculous 6. In fact, even the title itself describes
the
film: it’s
ridiculous that it actually got made, and it feels as though
it’s
six days
long.

The
bottom line is that
Adam Sandler is the one keeping
Adam Sandler employed. He’s
also the one keeping the same small group of
actors (Rob Schneider, Nick

Swardson, David Spade, etc) and director Frank Coraci
working.

This film is incredibly racist, the comedy is
unbearably unfunny
and the parody aspect of this
film is nonexistent, as it
quickly becomes a self-parody with how bad it
truly is.

The Ridiculous 6 was going to be the
number
one pick on this list…but,
that’d be too
predictable.

Image:
Lionsgate

4.
American
Ultra

On paper,
American Ultra
has some decent
qualities about it. It’s absurd enough to be fun, crazy enough
to be
entertaining and sweet enough to have
heart.

The execution and
delivery by director Nima

Nourizadeh and actors Kristen Stewart & Jesse Eisenberg is really what

transforms an interesting
script into something so dull, tonally disastrous and
quite
obnoxious.

The chemistry
between the two leads was what kept the film
watchable; but, that’s about it.

American Ultra could’ve easily been a film revisited years down the line as
a
true generational piece
similar to Fast Times or Dazed & Confused…with a lot
more violence. But,
it falls short of
that.

Max Landis is a talented
young writer whose concepts are
fascinating.
The problem is, he just needs a strong creative team to truly
bring one of ideas
to life in
a way that does justice to it.

Image: Scope

Pictures

3.
Love

Gaspar Noe has
been making off-the-wall films
for quite some time
now. He directs with such energy and passion…two things
that his recent
cinematic
escapade is lacking.

Love is a hyper sexualized 3D (yes,
I said 3D) film that
follows Murphy, a young American man living in France
and his relationship with

Electra, an unstable young woman (surprise,
surprise
).

The film also features a series of unsimulated
(real) sex scenes
between the two leads to create a
‘raw’ look at love between
two people. While the scenes do not come off as
pornographic or gratuitous in

any way, they are, however, extremely underwhelming and lacking zero
emotional
connection. There is zero
chemistry between the two leads, and their acting
involves staring off into
empty spaces for extended periods
of
time.

Noe, who is known for
his
color palettes and
surreal editing, does not stray away from that at all.
Instead of a making a
cliche filled indie romantic
drama, he makes a vibrant and
overdirected piece of cinema following a dull
story of two people doing

it…over and over and over again.

Okay, so, maybe this
film isn’t the worst thing ever; but, the fact
that a talented and sometimes
visionary director is at the
helm of something
like this, it is quite disappointing when the final
product is as underwhelming
as this
is.

So, Gaspar, if I were
you,
I’d leave the weird sexual stuff
to Lars Von Trier who did it 10 times
better a couple years ago when he made

Nymphomaniac.


Image: Paramount Pictures

2.
Terminator
Genisys

Well, the
good
thing is: Arnie is back in full
force. The bad thing? This movie is a
SkyNet sized
disaster.

2015 brought
back several films from the past. Jurassic World,
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

and Terminator Genisys. Jurassic World was made with such love by a fan for
fans
and new audiences alike.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens was a breath of life into
a beloved franchise
that had been lingering for years.
Terminator Genisys was
neither of the two things I just
mentioned.

This film felt like a forced cash grab. It was lacking energy,
love,
passion and appreciation.
Appreciation is key when making a franchise picture,
because, as a filmmaker
you need to appreciate the films
that set up said
franchise and you must appreciate the job you’ve been given
to direct a new
addition to
said franchise. The team behind this film focused strictly on fan
service by
delivering things that they know
would make us happy. It was a lazy
attempt at making a new addition to a
franchise that has been in a

rut.

Fractured timelines,
terrible
acting and characters
that show up for 30 seconds only to reappear again as
major characters.

I’m a fan of
this franchise (well, the first two movies), but, I
just don’t think this

franchise can be salvaged. We’ve been blessed by the movie gods with the
success
of Jurassic World and
Star Wars: The Force Awakens…but, I wouldn’t be surprised
if the newly re-
acquired Terminator franchise
drops
dead.

Image: Walt
Disney
Pictures

1. Lava (Pixar
Short)

Now, I
know what you’re
thinking: Really? He added a short film to his top 10
worst
list?

If you asked yourself that
question, it means
you didn’t see Pixar’s Short
Lava’ before Inside
Out
. If you happened to miss this short,
do yourself a favor and DO NOT

bother watching it. Your life will be a much better place, and you won’t
have
the worlds crappiest song
stuck in your head for days. Not to mention it’s a
clear knock off of
Over The
Rainbow
.’

This short film
is so bad that it can be used as a
method of torture
in a James Bond film in attempt to retrieve answers from
Bond
himself.

I wasn’t a huge fan of
Inside Out, and I
blame this short film for that. I
had such a bad taste
in my mouth and was still fuming by the time the actual
films opening credits

started to roll.

‘Lava’
overstayed
it’s welcome by having
us stare at a volcano that looks dangerously similar to
the poo emoji for
too long as he ‘struggled’ to find
love within a beautifully
designed setting. If you enjoyed this short, you
were probably attracted to the

plethora of colors utilized (which did look gorgeous). But, everything else
was
nightmare worthy on every
level.

It’s such a shame that
audiences had to witness a new
low for Pixar
(Lava), immediately followed by a new high (Inside

Out).

I never want to see this
short again. In fact,
I’m genuinely worried to see a
Pixar film in theaters for
fear that it might open with another horrendous
short.

Pixar, take a note from Disney and let their
team
develop your shorts.
Paperman was fantastic and should set a precedent for Pixar
as to how you
should make a short.

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